Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Men Vs. Women… So unfair

So here is what I want to know…  Why are the baby books that are written for men so much better laid out, and written for that matter, than the ones that are for women?  What makes these people think that I care to read about heroin usage during pregnancy, or eating well for the whole 9 months when I am only 3 months pregnant?…  GRRR…

Meanwhile Jayson’s books?  Laid out in chapters by MONTH for the changes he should expect to see in me, and what’s going on with the baby.  Well that’s freaking helpful.  A lot more helpful than the pages I skipped over in my book about acupuncture.  Really?

This is where it starts to get a bit gross.  Light stomached readers (and men) should probably turn back now…  okay, I warned you.

Are there any baby books out there that talk about how effing scary this is?  Seriously?  Because I have to tell you, this pregnancy has not been sunshine and rainbows.  It would have been nice if someone had said “hey, the heartburn, indigestion, and gas are going to start before the morning sickness ever subsides” or better yet “at the end of your first trimester there’s going to be scary white crap coming out of your nipples!”…

Thank God for baby center…  I don’t know what I would do without those women.  Cause I am one cranky, mean, sick, miserable woman right now and it’s nice to know that I’m in good company.  However sometimes I want to smack the hell out of women that aren’t sick like I am…  Perfect example.  Today at Target, the man in line in front of me left his cart instead of moving it to the end to put his bags in, and then left his keys on the counter.  As I handed them to him I jokingly said “I’m the pregnant one, I should be the one leaving things everywhere".  To which the lady at the counter asked me how far along I was and proceeded to tell me that if it were not for the ultrasound, that she wouldn’t even believe there was a baby growing inside of her…  Well what the crap little blueberry?!  Why are you being so damned mean to me?  I’m your mommy, and I love you.  You’re supposed to love me back!

Speaking of which – my OB is freaking hilarious.  We went in for our second prenatal visit last week and I brought my prenatal vitamins to make sure that there were enough nutrients for both me and the baby – because my hair and nails have taken a turn for the WORSE and my skin is SUPER DRY.  He was like “yeah, those are fine” to which I responded “I was just curious because this baby seems to be sucking the life out of me” and without missing a beat he goes “and it will continue to do so for the next 20 years or so”.

Anyway, I’m not a big fan of Eve ruining it for the rest of us at this point in time…  Can’t wait to meet our little gift!

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