What is your self worth?

What is your self worth?  What are you doing to figure it out?  I am sitting here with my headphones plugged into my iPhone so that I can drown out the noise around my while I should be working to reflect on a lot of choices and decisions made recently.  Not just by me, but those around me that affect how I see myself as a person.

 

Let’s start with the menial crap.  This diet that most of you know I am on.  Somewhere when I was little between the batons, the modeling, the cheerleading, the girl scouts, the basketball team, drama, chorus, and band: it was clearly programmed into my head that I need to maintain the skinny image to find myself attractive.  Great.  The funny part about this?  Is that y’all don’t even seem to think that I have a weight issue.  Regardless of that, for some notion that someone clearly put in my head at some point, I am chewing down the last of a green apple (my breakfast) with a 1.5 liter bottle of water open in front of me.  The one that I am destined to finish before ending my day.

 

What are you self conscious about?  What made you that way?  What are you doing to rid yourself of the issue?

 

For the first time in my life I can honestly say that my self esteem is not dependent on one other person.  The problem is that it has mutated to being in the arms of a good group of oooh… 400+.  That’s right.  The life of an organizer being under the microscope is the issue causing the tension in my shoulders and the questioning of my every move.

 

The funny part about that is when people do actually question me?  They are not worth it, and most the time I want to punch them in the face.

 

Which brings me to another point I suppose.  Who the hell do some of you people think you are?  Are you really that unhappy with yourself that you take no time to dissect the correct way to talk to people?  Why are you not taking the time to make sure that your words do not cause new issues for people who; like you; are struggling to figure out who they are every day without your negativity?

 

I have said it before, and I am sure that I will say it again.  I am the queen of run on sentences.  I apologize about that.  Lately I also find myself to be this tip toeing woman so afraid to hurt or offend others that I end up living a lie to avoid the inevitable.  I am sorry about that.  I am resolving not to do so anymore.  Which will lead me to some pretty tough conversations this week.  Fun stuff.

 

But my challenge to every single one of you is two fold.  If you aren’t already completely aware, figure out what it is that makes you self conscious about yourself, and get on a plan to change it.  I know that this is not as simple for everyone as it is for me to lose 20 pounds.  But won’t it be worth it?  My second one is to not let the opinions of others affect your opinions of yourself, or your decisions in living life.  Do what makes you happy.  We’re only here for so many earth rotations.  Make each one count.

 

Have a great week.