My First Date – with me

Alright, so for those of you who already knew that I did this, you know I’m about a week late in getting it up.  Sue me, I have been one busy lady!

So, last Tuesday after coming back from a long weekend in NY and having a horrible day at work on Tuesday, I had to sit through class and a frustrating Board meeting and when I got out at 8:15 I had simply had enough!  I needed some me time.

I went home, got changed, grabbed my book and headed to the Arboretum to figure out what I wanted to eat.

I ended up at Chili’s (for those of you who have never been to the Chili’s at the Arboretum it has a gorgeous back patio area on the water that’s simply tranquil) book in hand and ready to relax.  I ordered myself a glass of wine and decided to be completely unhealthy by getting the appetizer sampler as my meal consisting of boneless buffalo wings, spinach & artichoke dip, and potato skins.  Like I said, completely unhealthy.

I sat there reading my book in the back of the restaurant enjoying the view of the water and got completely lost in myself.  There was no checking my phone every five minutes to see who had texted me.  I didn’t care.  I was on an amazing first date.  I was laughing at myself out loud based on my reactions to what I was reading in my novel, people watching a bit, and just enjoying my own company.

After that I headed home to enjoy a nice relaxing bubble bath.  This time I brought my laptop in but it was only to enjoy the next episode of Instant Star.  There was still no chatting with anybody.  It was so relaxing and definitely what I needed.

Anyway, I’m swamped through the end of May but I have several plans next month to get out and do stuff by myself.

Hope you all have a great week.

My May trip to NY – Family time

Alright, now that you know all about friend time, it’s time to show off my goofy family.  Saturday Dad and I packed the family into the truck and drove to Penn Yan for a visit to the windmill, pretzels, and butterfly fries.  It was great to spend some quality time with the kids who for the most part behaved.

Tyler is such a goof.  He didn’t want his picture taken but I got him anyway.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tessa also not wanting her photo taken… I can’t win.

 

Grrrr…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now she’s smiling!

This was the best I could do.  He wouldn’t put the can down or come any closer…  Snot nose.

So Sunday we celebrated my grandfather’s 70th birthday with the Westfall’s.  I got to spend a little bit of quality time with Bobbie and see my generation growing up (they’re all like 16).  I got a phone call for a fire alarm while I was there so had to do some work, but all in all it was nice to see some family.

 

Grandpa Dick pointing at my camera.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah, not exactly in the mood for photos.

Mom, Grandpa, and I when I was a baby.  Halloween costume.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Great Grandma, Grandpa, Mom, and me when I was a baby again.  Aunt Shirley had made an awesome photo collage with a lot of photos that made me bust out laughing.

 

Bobbie’s boyfriend Kyle, Bobbie, and Isaac.  Yes, there is only one girl in these pictures…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Doesn’t Isaac look so happy?

 

So yeah, that’s about it.  We ended up leaving Sunday night instead of Monday morning which meant I had a nice relaxing day on Monday to do absolutely nothing!  Later ~

My May trip to NY – Chilling with the friends

Alright, I know.  It took some time.  Easy killers!  But here it is.  My first blog from my May trip to New York.  I took lots of photos so I hope you enjoy.

It wasn’t nearly as cold this time though I did not see the sun the entire time I was there.  We got in Friday night and I immediately went to dinner with Nate at Parker’s in Seneca Falls.  They have some work to do, but it was an enjoyable experience (they paid us for our wait with free drinks).

Nate making funny faces at Parker’s

Nate’s “where the hell is my food?” face.

Alright, so I am doing a separate blog for family time because there are a lot of photos and such so let’s move onto Saturday night, shall we?  Nate and I visited Connie’s for the must-have while in the area quickies…  Get your mind out of the gutter, it’s a burger!

I am starting to sense a theme with the faces?

 

Nate with the rigged pepper shaker…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deliciousness.  I know it seems silly but you just can’t find the right texture of gravy to enjoy this delicious treat down here.  That’s all there is to it.

 

 

Nate and I getting started at Dewey’s.

 

The rest of the gang finally joining us.  Lemon drops anyone?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dennis was already gone by the time he got there, the photos below are proof of that.  Boo doesn’t seem very happy to be having his picture taken.  Oh well.

 

Dennis insisted that he could take a photo of Nate and I… clearly…

 

Dennis…  Oooh Dennis…

I’m not sure who took this one, but they are getting better…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks Boo!  Enjoying my favorite cherry vodka and lemonade with one of my best friends!

 

So yeah…  There you have my hanging out with friends in New York.  I hope you enjoyed laughing at me.  For those of you who know the rest of the story, I’m sorry!  LOL.  For those of you who don’t?  I’ll never tell.  Happy Thursday!

Word of the Week – Round 14!

Merriam Webster yet again, this one is from Sunday.

collaborate

Definition

1: to work jointly with others

2: to cooperate with an enemy and especially an occupying force

Examples

A number of reporters collaborated on the Pulitzer Prize-winning newspaper series.
"In a move partly aimed at strengthening ties ahead of a potential merger, the board of directors of the Lompico Water District agreed at Wednesday's meeting to collaborate with the San Lorenzo Valley Water District to replace a water line." -- From an article by Kimberly White in the Santa Cruz Sentinel, March 11, 2011

What is it that you want?

I don’t think I have ever been more self centered or selfish than I have allowed myself to be lately.  And you know what?  I’m completely okay with admitting that I am being selfish right now.  In my oh so humbling opinion, quite frankly I feel like I deserve to be.

That being said, why is it that once I have what it is I thought I wanted, I want something else, or something more?  Why is it human nature to always be looking for the next best thing?  Why are we wired this way?

Religion will argue that it’s because there is something missing.  That until you have Jesus in your life that you are missing something and will continue seeking it in worldly ways.

Why is it the exact opposite for me?  Because I have Jesus I feel like I can do more than I ever thought possible.  I can tackle more, can have more…  It’s this never ending vicious cycle of always wanting the next best thing.

Anybody have any solutions?

Word of the Week – Round 13!

Merriam Webster -

factoid

DEFINITION

noun

1: an invented fact believed to be true because of its appearance in print

2: a briefly stated and usually trivial fact

EXAMPLES

Printed on the back of each baseball card in Mikey’s collection was a chart showing the player’s statistics along with one or two interesting factoids about his career.
"Here's an interesting factoid: 'Mary Poppins' is the only Broadway show that debuted in the 2006-2007 theatrical season still in performance." -- From an Orlando Sentinel blog posting by Matt Palm, April 18, 2011

What are you doing for you?

Since you all are apparently enjoying my self exploration blogs (you sick and twisted people), I’ve decided to make a conscious effort to have better blog topics.  Now don’t get me wrong, you will still get the life updates, what I did on the weekend, what movies I am enjoying…  But for some unknown reason, people are actually reading this.  So I have decided to make an impact with what I have.  My words.  Deep… I know.

So all of that being said.  I have just finished several articles about doing things for yourself and I will go so far as to say that it is necessary to date yourself!

“Nobody will think you’re somebody if you don’t think so yourself.”
African-American proverb

It has recently dawned on me that in the last… 9 years, I have spent a total of maybe 3 months (high estimate) being single.  Whenever anyone would ask me what my biggest fear was, I would always respond that it was by far being alone.  Why is that?

I think we all know that I have very recently learned that the only person who can make me happy, is me.  So why then do we spend so much time trying to make ourselves who someone else would want, as opposed to finding someone who fits us just as we are?

So here is my next challenge and I strongly encourage you all to join me on this one.  Date yourself.  Take yourself out and get to know who you are.  This is something you can do regardless of whether or not you are in a relationship, though I strongly encourage you to explain to your SO if you are in a relationship exactly what it is you are doing.  It can only make your relationships better as you learn who it is you are and what you need in a partner.

So here is my plan…

What is my idea of a perfect first date?  Once I have the answer for this I will be taking myself out on it.  Now I know what you’re thinking, I’m only setting up the next first date for failure but all I’m really doing is ensuring that I’m not settling for anything less than what I deserve.  So I will be getting all prettied up and taking myself out on whatever that first date would be.  Yes, of course I will be sharing it with you all.

Go on a weekend getaway.  I am dedicating a weekend in June to take a trip to the beach by myself.  I will eat at all of the restaurants that I choose, read books on the beach and never have to go back to the condo because somebody else is “ready to go”, I will talk to people that I otherwise wouldn’t talk to and I will have a fantastic time being out with myself.

Get to know myself.  My goal over the next few months is to build a relationship with myself by getting to know exactly who I am.  I will be taking all of the typical questions you would normally ask someone that you are getting to know in a relationship, and making sure that I know the answers to my own questions!

This is just a start for me.  I strongly encourage you to read the articles below and take the challenges I am about to face along side of me as I learn how to live fearlessly and love myself like nobody else can.

http://www.cleo.com.au/date_yourself_for_a_while.htm?page=1

http://www.moreofmetolove.com/blogs/entry/have-a-great-relationship-with-yourself/

http://www.stratejoy.com/2011/02/how-to-date-yourself-in-10-ways/

Love Come to Life

So I had the chance to go see the Love Come to Life tour in Gastonia last night with a good friend of mine.  I didn’t realize how much it was exactly what I needed.  I have been going through my share of “stuff” lately as you all know by now and it was totally reenergizing to be reminded that my God loves me in spite of all of that.

I bought my first cd last night in ages.  Like literally, I’m going to say it has been no less than four years since I picked up Relient K’s Four Score and VII Years CD at Kingdom Bound.  Let me start off by saying that the Christian rock band Luminous is phenomenal (the two cd’s that I picked up).  I can’t find them anywhere on google to even give you a clue so you will just have to take my word for it.

But anyway – a few truly amazing things happened for me last night, as I know they did for others as well.  For starters, I have NOT been on fire with my faith and for the Lord lately.  I have been hearing God a lot more than what is typical for me and out of fear and selfishness, I have basically been ignoring him…  A couple of weeks ago, our worship pastor announced that he would be moving to Australia at the end of the year to do ministry.  I just remember sitting there and the Lord saying to me “if you would just listen, I could use you for situations like this too.”  As exciting as that was – I refused to let go and let God.  That all changed last night.  I am going to do my best to love this city in the ways that God has blessed me with the ability to do. The really awesome part about that?  Is I really just get to continue to do what I’m doing, but instead of doing it for me – I will be doing it for Jesus.  This 5k that I’m doing this weekend, the already amazing meetup group I just started – all of those can be used to glorify Jesus and I have almost been using everything I am doing in my life right now to glorify me.  Can you say selfish?  Prideful?  Arrogant?  Flat out wrong?  Yeah, it’s okay.  I’m ready to hear it right now because God has broken me and for the first time in a long time, I am ready to be changed.

Another thing happened.  As some of you know I have been experiencing some severe symptoms over the past two weeks.  Vomiting, nausea, severe dizziness, low grade fevers…  The ultra sound results came back inconclusive and I am getting ready to schedule some serious tests that I am just NOT looking forward to.  So much so that when the nurse asked me if I wanted her to schedule my appointments, I told her that I would call back.

I know that God is great.  I know that He has the power to heal, the power to make new…  I understand and believe all that.  However what I have always struggled with is believing that God wants to heal ME, that he wants to USE ME.  Last night at the end of the concert they just had a time for open prayer and I did something that I have never been able to do.  I asked for prayer for healing.  I didn’t do it right away.  I didn’t even do it willingly.  I stayed in my awesome front row center (thanks Dusty!) chair and sang the praise and worship songs and was literally fighting with God the entire time.  “Okay!  You win!  Fine!” I got up and walked up to the stage (again, like 4 feet from my chair :) ) and explained what had been going on, and explained that I had never asked for this before and that I am the person who continues to shoulder all of my burdens even though I know they are nothing for the Lord and he wants them.  He asked me if I believed that the Lord could heal me and I said yes.  We prayed.

I don’t know what this feels like for everyone, but while he was praying my stomach got twisted and turned and pulled and I’m not going to lie – it did not feel very good.  But the fact of the matter is that by the time the prayer was finished, that pain was over and I felt amazing.  Since then, through prayer and claiming that I believe that He can heal, I have fought off what I thought were the beginnings of two dizziness spells.  Do you know what’s funny though?  I apparently should have asked for COMPLETE healing.

Since last night, I have had more fights with Satan than I have in months.  Dirty rotten…  Seriously.  I was talking to Dusty and driving back and minding my own business when all of a sudden I turned the wheel, and my broken finger that for the most part is healed?  OH MY GOSH IT HURT.  I was in so much pain and I didn’t even freaking do anything!  I didn’t bang it, I didn’t turn it wrong…  I was so mad!  Stupid Satan…

Oh!  Yeah, and he did not want us to get to the concert either!  I got on 85 N instead of S to get to Gastonia.  I was almost 100% out of gas and couldn’t get the pump to work because apparently when I had activated my new card earlier that day it didn’t actually activate…  It was the funniest, most frustrating thing ever!

Anyway…  I think that’s all I have for now.  Thanks for sticking with it.  Thanks for being awesome and making me feel awesome knowing that people actually want to read what I write.  I hope you all have a fantastic weekend.

<3

What makes you happy?

You could never say XYZ (fill in person’s name here) couldn’t make me happy. The person you become when you are with… no, the person you allowed yourself to turn into in your choice of being with this person is who is keeping you from being happy. Yes, I am the queen of run on sentences. I am also the queen of karaoke, getting caught dancing in the car at a red light, and royally sucking at mini golf. These are the things that make me happy.

Knowing that I am a beautiful, intelligent young woman who has her shit together (most days) is what makes me happy. It may not appear like it from your view – but again, you are not the one making me happy.

Who are you to ask me to depend on you? To accuse me of not caring when I can’t openly give you my heart because you have no idea what the value is of what you are asking for!

So let’s talk about the people you fill your life with for a bit. Do these people make you better, or do they just make you feel better? Are they doing neither? Are you of the same value to them as they are to you? Why not?

Yes, I have cut a lot of people out of my life lately. Yes, it may seem excessive, or it may seem irrational, or just completely bitchy. Here is the fact of the matter. I am a nice person. Nice people will get shit on continuously when they allow the people in their lives who are not meeting the above criteria.

Friends should be there to listen, not just to talk. Friends should be there when you are going through something, regardless of whether or not they understand or agree with it. Are you being that type of friend? Are you there for people when they need it, or do you use your friends to vent and to have someone to hang out with when you are lonely but if they are going through something – tough noogies? This is my challenge to you.

Relationships are work. All relationships. Not just your spouse or significant other. I’m challenging everyone to evaluate the relationships in their lives. Once you’re done evaluating, and you feel like you need to clean a little house? That’s okay. Those that make it through? Work on those relationships. Be the person who makes the other person better. Be the best listener and the best friend that you know how to be to those select people that make the cut, and you will have a better group of friends in those select few than you could have ever found in relationships you are not working on.

Word of the Week, Round 12!

Merriam Webster-

disseise

: to deprive especially wrongfully of seisin : to put out of possession or occupancy : dispossess

"The complainant declared that he or she had been disseised -- usually physically and sometimes even violently deprived -- of land unjustly and without judgment of a court." -- From a footnote by Janet Loengard in the 2011 book The Ties That Bind: Essays in Medieval British History in Honor of Barbara Hanawalt
"Noting that Joann did not even become aware of the property until after her husband's death - nine years after the transfer of interests - the panel concluded she 'was not therefore disseised of her one-third interest until 1997….'" -- From an article by Melissa P. Stewart, Esq., in Michigan Lawyers Weekly, October 15, 2007

Weekly Success Tip From Tim Connor

No – 483 – Inner battles.

“Fear is the mother of foresight.” Taylor

The ability to build long term successful relationships requires many skills such as:

- effective communication

- patience

- acceptance

- tolerance

- commitment

and too many more to list.

One of the critical ones, in my opinion, is the ability to be aware of how you filter information (words, non-verbal communication, emotions and feelings) from your partner, and then monitor your reactions or responses to ensure integrity of understanding. One of the things that often gets in the way of this accurate monitoring process is what I call 'inner battles' or self-conversations/stories. What do I mean by this?

It is the process of creating 'inner stories/scenarios' in your mind as a result of something your partner:

-did

-didn't do

-said

-didn't say

-you wish they would have said

-you wish they would have done

-you wish they hadn’t said

-you wish they hadn’t done

For example, your partner - for whatever reason - is preoccupied with some of their 'own emotional or mental stuff' while you are talking with them. As a result, you make the assumption that they are not interested, don't care or are not listening. As a result, you go off on an inner, silent mental tirade creating a story that may have no relevance whatsoever to what your partner was thinking or not thinking. My personal experience is that most of my inner 'stories' were less than positive and that they contributed negatively to the responses from my partner ultimately causing misunderstandings, confusion, arguments, etc.

Why did I persist in this behavior? Why did I create these negative inner scenarios that ultimately did not add a positive dynamic to the relationship? I am beginning to understand that this process could have been due to my insecurity, low self-esteem, need for approval, or a myriad of other reasons. If you never go through this inner process or fight these inner battles, I salute you. However, could your partner be guilty of this process? Is he/she holding you accountable for outcomes to thier inner stories that they are creating that you are not even aware of?

Communication in relationships is never easy for a variety of reasons. There are so many factors both internal and external that contribute to our interpretations, attitudes, reactions, beliefs – this list can get really long – The answer is the more you can share the truth openly the better chance you have of avoiding these lingering internal battles, conflict, unsatisfied expectations and disappointment.

In His service, Tim

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Tim Connor, CSP World renowned Speaker, Trainer and best selling author of over 80 titles. Box 397, Davidson, N.C. 28036 USA, 704-895-1230 (voice) tim@timconnor.com (email) - www.timconnor.com (Website)

Osama bin Laden

Those of you who know me know that I am not a political person whatsoever.  Those of you not living under a rock, know that late last night it was announced that the US Armed Forces completed a raid which resulted in the DNA confirmed death of Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden.  He had not been living in the mountains on the Afghan border as had been speculated but was found 9.5 years after the terrorist attack of 9/11 living in a compound valued at approximately 1 million dollars.  While the compound was worth 1 million dollars, there was absolutely no internet and or telephone connections.

I am not trying to be a critic, or a skeptic or anything like that.  I will claim myself ignorant on such subjects and write as such.  I’m also not going to sit here and say that this is not cause for a celebration.  I truly believe that this will provide morale to the troops still overseas almost 10 years later, and that it shows that we do not give up.  I will try to steer away from the “what have we really accomplished?” question.

But at what cost?  The members of Al Qaeda have already declared that the death of Osama bin Laden will not affect the efforts of their Jihad.

And this is where I get stuck.  What am I willing to do for my God?  The Alpha, the Omega.  These people are willingly giving their lives over and over again and yet I sit here and fight God on the smallest tasks like reaching out and touching someone’s life in a way I couldn’t even begin to understand.  In a society where we clearly do not agree with their culture and what it is that they are doing, I honestly get sick with myself to know that they have more faith in their left pinky than I have in my entire body, heart, and soul.

Anyway, here are a few links so you can read about it if you haven’t already.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_bin_laden_the_raid

http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2011/05/02/obama-to-make-statment-tonight-subject-unknown/?hpt=T1&iref=BN1

Exhausted

So I will start by saying that I had an absolutely amazing weekend.  Then I will get in to the fact that I can barely keep my eyes open…

Friday night at the ever favorite New Zealand Cafe I was talked into trying Octopus again.  Only this time, it wasn’t a baby, not nearly as intimidating.  However, this time, I wasn’t even able to swallow it.  It was literally like chewing on a piece of tire.  Horrible.

Then, it got brought up that I had never seen any of the Rocky movies.  Apparently this is illegal.  So Friday night turned into watching Rocky I and then going to bed early enough to get up at 9am for Saturday’s festivities.

The Queen’s Cup Steeplechase.  What a great way to spend a Saturday.  We hit the road at 10am and got there and set up just before 11.  Got to do some walking around before the races started and had an amazing day.  Regardless of the multiple applications of SPF 50, I ended up with a sunburn on my back, but not nearly as painful as the one from Myrtle Beach.

I picked two winning horses which was pretty exciting given the fact that I am anything but a gambler.  There was corn hole, beer, wine, and fun to be had by all.

The plan after that was to nap and go to dinner, but when you nap from 7pm – 11pm, your dinner options are kind of limited.  Cheeseburger, fries, and wings at Boardwalk Billy’s at 11:30 is always a good option I suppose, however unhealthy it may be.

Then we stayed up until 3:30 am watching Rocky II.  Great movie.

So I haven’t been feeling well this week, having a lot of stomach issues that actually drove me to the Dr.  So when I woke up on Sunday I felt like crap and decided to stay in bed for a while.  Which of course was thwarted when I got up and headed to spend the day on a boat with some new friends.

I couldn’t wake board because of the broken finger and the stomach issues, but it was still a great day of teasing and getting to know some great people.

Will try to blog more this week.  Make it a good one.  Can’t believe it’s May already.